The Fear Factor – Embracing Success

rollercoasterWhen I launched The Haven Shoppe in March 2015, I executed on my short term plan, and knew what my long term goals were. When activities plateaued and I settled into my routine of daily Facebook posts, monthly blogging, and managing sales of my Body & Soul mists, I found myself wondering about next steps. I spoke with my dear friend Sarah, who suggested I look for some business coaching: “set the intention to find a business coach to help you with next steps. Once you do, your vibration will attract the right person to you”.

Less than three weeks later, a friend of my sister (who just happens to be Editor in Chief of a local Women’s magazine) left me a voicemail out of the blue. She had seen my Body & Soul Mist display in our local Tru Bliss Wellness Spa, and wanted to talk. When I arrived home from work that evening, I quickly changed, tossed a veggie burger into a pan and dialed Mary’s number. I assumed she just had general questions on the Crystal Visions mist she’d purchased, so I was caught completely off guard when she instead, launched into a whirlwind of promotion strategies, potential buyers, and marketing ideas that made my head spin. “I didn’t know you wanted to get your products into stores! If you’re going to do it, you need to go all the way; and I’m going to help you”.  Mary proceeded to task me with a list of action items that would prepare me to approach  her seemingly endless list of local business contacts. “You need to offer a wholesale and retail pricing option. Do you have sample sets? What’s your profit margin?”. One hour and about 40 post-it notes later, I hung up the phone. I pulled my (now burned) dinner off the stove and felt a wave of emotions wash over me. First excitement and gratitude; I was re-energized and motivated! My prayers for business guidance had been answered, as if by magic. I now had a clear path forward. Yay!

But then, something less warm and fuzzy began to set in. Yes, the typical fears of disappointment and rejection swirled in the back of my mind, but that wasn’t was really making me squirm; I’m used to working through the fear of failure. This was something different, new. I was afraid of success. What if these local businesses actually said yes to carrying my line? What if it’s so successful that I can’t keep up? I’m not ready…

OK, time-out. Talk about being one’s own worst enemy. In hindsight I clearly see what I was doing, and it boils down to subconsciously sabotaging myself because it felt safer. So after visualizing, planning, and taking positive action steps toward manifesting my dreams over the past year, I decided to crap all over those dreams with imaginary worst case scenarios. Charming.  Nevertheless, the fears are real. So what to do when the very thing you’ve always wanted becomes the thing you fear the most?

First, breathe.

Breathe deeply and focus your mind there. This is one of the very few ways I’ve been successful in getting my ego to shut the hell up. Sometimes I imagine my ego as a squawking bird, screeching her head off, throwing seeds, pooping, and molting all over my otherwise tranquil mind. I’ll actually envision throwing a sheet over her cage to quiet her down, as we used to do with my sister’s old cockatoo, Chloe. I’ll lift her sheet when I’m ready to type up proposals and crunch numbers – the ego is great for practical functions – she has no business, however, tearing through my newfound excitement with her earth shattering screeches to warn me of danger. Do whatever works for you, but it’s an absolute must to get that ego in check, or it’ll totally pull you off track and suck the joy right out of your experience.

Fake out your brain by translating your symptoms of fear into those of excitement. Your heart may be pounding, your palms sweating and your stomach fluttering. But these are the same feelings you get when you’re super excited about something too – tell your brain what it’s feeling is anticipation and enthusiasm (which, after all, had been my first reaction, and the first reaction is usually the most appropriate). If the opportunity you’ve been working toward is presenting itself in magical ways, you’re more than likely ready for it – don’t overthink!

Focus on service.

When we live our passion, others are inspired and uplifted. So whatever it is you’re being called to do, don’t let your own insecurities get in the way of delivering your amazing talents and gifts to the world. Nobody wins when you play it small! Taking steps in the direction of your dreams is much like the slow climb of a rollercoaster before the big drop. Yes you’re scared out of your wits and possibly questioning your own sanity, wondering what on earth possessed you to get yourself into this situation to begin with.  But experiencing the rush of that the big drop is the allure! It’s the reason you paid for your ticket, stood in line, and risked losing your lunch. So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and take pride in knowing that you’re actually going for it, because that’s what matters most; the results are secondary.

With Much Love,


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