It’s all about self love today! For starters, be proud of yourself for your interest in how to practice self love. You’ve already made a huge step on your journey. The practices below will usher profound healing into your life. Feel free to pick and choose from this list, to create a self love ritual that works best for you.
If you’re still beating yourself up for decisions you’ve made in the past, here is your written permission slip to let yourself off the hook. Feelings like shame and guilt are at the very bottom of the emotional barrel, and they can destroy your health. Remember, life is a classroom and you came here to learn. You’re supposed to make mistakes! If you flawlessly coasted through every experience, your life would have no meaning at all.
If you struggle with self forgiveness, think about how you’d treat your dearest friend if she were the one who’d made your mistakes. Wouldn’t you encourage her to find the lessons and release the emotional baggage? Of course you would. There’s no need to hold yourself to some absurd standard of perfection. Plus, no one’s keeping score of how long you’ve been punishing yourself. If a difficult life experience helped you learn something, then it was a blessing. To forgive yourself is the ultimate act of self-love.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Another important part of your self love practice is to stop comparing yourself to other people. This is especially true of what you see on social medial. Let’s start here: most of it isn’t even real! People spend shocking amounts of time creating the illusion of a perfect life, usually for one of two reasons: they’re over-compensating for their own insecurities, or they’re trying to sell you something. Either way, spending hours scrolling through images that spark envy and self-pity is toxic. Limit your phone time if you struggle with this.
It’s also important to remember that you are here on a very specific journey, which simply cannot be compared with anyone else’s. Your soul chose the exact circumstances for your life, so it could experience the most opportunities for growth. Your physical body, family situation, natural talents and even your quirks, make you the exact perfect person to carry out your life purpose. You are uniquely perfect just as you are.
If you’re working toward self-love, then its especially important for you to give yourself every opportunity to heal. Your body, mind, and spirit are directly linked, and they all suffer when you withhold love from yourself. So, start thinking of everything you put in your body an expression of self love.
Studies show that diets high in red meat and refined sugar are tied to depression. So make sure your diet isn’t working against you. You don’t have to give up everything that you enjoy, but do consider upgrading your treats. It is possible retrain your body and mind to take indulgent comfort in foods that are actually good for you. Plus, your body craves what you eat regularly, so start working more whole foods and fresh water into your day. Fruits, veggies, grains, and organic proteins will uplift your mood and make you feel better about yourself. Eventually, you’ll find yourself craving them.
Self Love Affirmations
Positive affirmations are the perfect tool to help you practice self love. Self love affirmations are statements that promote your well being. They are soothing to the mind and will help you incorporate self love into your life. Find a positive statement about yourself that makes you feel good when you repeat it. For example, when you wake up in the morning, say: ” I am lovable” or “I’m going to have a great day”. The important thing is that it makes you feel good. If you want more ideas, you can find a list of self love affirmations right here.
Upgrade Your Self Talk
Imagine we held a loud speaker up to your inner voice. What would we hear you say about yourself? Would you be filling the world with sweetness or harsh criticism? Your body and soul are listening to every thought you have, so it’s crucial that you practice loving kindess toward yourself. When you berate yourself, it damages you on every level. Not to mention, you’re lower your vibe which causes you to attract unloving experiences in your life. When you repeatedly affirm you’re unlovable, you won’t attract love into your from others. Dove France demonstrates this point beautifully in the clip below. It’s less than 2 minutes (in French w/ English subtitles):
Pamper Your Body
Your body is a temple, and your home for this lifetime. Do you take loving care of it? If you’re feeling down, one of the most loving things you can do is to dedicate time to tend to your physical body. Take an extra long shower. Shave, use your favorite soaps, or give yourself a foot scrub. Use your best towels to dry off, then clip your nails, or style your hair in a way that’s pleasing to you. Then put on your favorite clothes. This simple grooming ritual puts you in the role of self-nurturer, which can profoundly shift your relationship to yourself. If it helps, try thinking of your body as a child or animal who depends on you to take care of it. When you become your own source of comfort, life gets much easier.
Choose Your Tribe Wisely
The people you spend time with directly affect how you feel, because you exchange energy with them. So, when you’re practicing self love, it’s important to set healthy boundaries. Think about the people in your life in regard to these questions below:
- Do they treat you with respect and kindness?
- Are they honest?
- Do they encourage you to pursue your interests, even if it’s not an interest they share?
- Is there a healthy balance of give and take in your relationship?
- Do they bring out the best in you?
- Are they sincerely invested in your well being?
- Do they keep their promises?
If you answered ‘no’ to even one of these questions about someone in your life, then it means they are in conflict with your efforts to practice self love. You don’t have to make drastic changes if you don’t feel ready. But give yourself permission to create some distance between yourself and toxic people. Practicing self love involves creating a safe environment for you to heal and thrive. It’s your job to surround yourself with caring people. You deserve healthy relationships!
Keep a Journal
The human brain is wired to look for threats, it’s just our nature. But this can lead to unintentionally ignoring all the good things in life. When you’re practicing self love, you need to train yourself to see the positive aspects of yourself. You are wonderful in so many ways! Consider keeping a journal of all the things you did well, or that made you proud that day. Here are some ideas for your journal:
- Make a list of small, attainable goals for yourself, and then mark them complete as you achieve them. If you don’t complete them
- Every night before bed, think of 3 things you did to show yourself love
- Write yourself a love letter, and go back to it when you’re feeling down
Or, try a guided journal like this one:
Focus on Today
We’ve already discussed the importance of releasing the past, but spending too much time on the future will steal your joy, too. As part of your self love practice, focus on finding happiness in the present moment. Are you setting conditions for yourself that need to be met before you allow yourself to be happy? If so, this is a recipe for long term disappointment, because you’re basing your joy on a moving target. There’s always going to be a new goal to meet, and that’s okay! It’s human nature. But if you’re telling yourself that you’ll be lovable once you lose weight, or find a partner, or earn a certain amount of money, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Get into the practice of finding contentment now, in the absence of those things. You are not broken or incomplete; as you adopt a healthier view of yourself you’ll begin to attract love into your life, from the inside out.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world, and vice versa. So take a look around the room of your home where you spend the most time. Do you see an inviting haven that’s a reflection of you at your very best? If not, one way to practice self love is to spend some time upgrading your personal space. De-clutter by donating old stuff that doesn’t bring you joy, then organize the items you want to keep. Dust and vacuum to remove toxins that drag down your immune system. Even household chores can be an act of self love, if you carry out these tasks with the intention of treating yourself to a beautiful, clean dwelling. If you can’t get motivated to do it for your own sake, imagine you’re expecting a very important guest, and go from there.
Embrace Your Quirks
You, my friend, are a unique work of art. Like any masterpiece, you weren’t created to please everyone. Some people aren’t going to approve of your ideas, perspectives, or personal tastes, and that’s perfectly okay. Keep following your inner guidance and building your confidence because this is the path that leads to a joyful and fulfilling life. Your soul came here to explore, learn, and expand. Every day of your life is precious, so don’t hold yourself back for fear of what others may think (we’re usually wrong about what others are thinking anyway).
Consider all the remarkable people who inspire you. Not a single one of them hasn’t been criticized, judged, and misunderstood along the way. Aren’t you glad that didn’t stop them from sharing their talent and gifts with the world? The exact same goes for you. Worry less about gaining approvals and start allowing your authentic self to shine – that’s where you’ll find your true power. You are amazing!
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